Monday, October 6, 2008

More Tomato Tales

The last of the tomatoes are coming in and late yesterday afternoon I picked what will probably be my final bucketful for this year. I thought I was just in time to make one last batch of homemade spaghetti sauce until I realized I didn't have any tomato paste in the cupboard. With two little ones to bathe, read a stack of books too, and tuck in good-night, I decided venturing out to the grocery store would have to wait until tomorrow. So, I left the bright red 5-gallon bucket of tomatoes carefully placed beside the refrigerator in the kitchen.

This morning I really struggled to get motivated. I knew the tomatoes were waiting in the red bucket in the kitchen and I kept telling myself I'd get to them soon...

Soon as the 3-year-old quit throwing legos at his brother. Soon as I mopped up the spilled milk that the little one was eagerly "fingerpainting" with on the kitchen table. Soon as I found out what happened to the little one's missing sock. Soon as I made sure a lego or the missing sock hadn't inadvertently been flushed down the toilet...

As I retrieved the plunger from the toilet and a gleefully squealing toddler escaped past me, I figured I would get to the spaghetti sauce soon...very soon. Ok. The toilet emergency was a false alarm and I was just about ready to put the kids in the car and venture out into public when....

Soon, I heard two peels of laughter and one rambunctious 3-year-old shouting, "Mommy, me are having fun! Me are having fun! Me are playing ball!"

Yep. You probably guessed what the boys were playing ball with.

Here's a funny question for ya...how many tomatoes can two little boys throw across the kitchen and living room in say, all about ten seconds?

5? Nah. Way too few!

10? You're so cold there's icebergs on your toes!

20? Getting warmer.

Last count in rounding them all up? I think it was around 32!

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. How can two little boys do that so quickly? Here's another perspective. Do you know how mad you can get as you round up 32 tomatoes and mop up tomato juice and tomato seeds from the floor, the walls, the carpet, and two little children who have seeds coming out of their ears and their noses?

I was admittedly a tad bit upset and very nearly turned into the Devil Woman Tomato herself again. However, after a stern lecture I quickly got over it. My mother used to say that the punishment should fit the crime.

So, can you guess what my little ones had for lunch today?

Yep. Half sliced and half squished tomato sandwiches.

In our house, food is to eat - not to throw on the floor. However, if you intentionally throw it on the floor you still have to eat it. Depending on what it is, you might also just have to clean it up...can you tell by the "house rules" that we've gone over this at least a time or two?

Needless to say, I think I know two little boys who will probably not be playing ball in the house again, at least with tomatoes.

As I angrily pureed tomatoes at lunchtime, I had to smile. The happy 3-year-old seated at the kitchen table grinned up at me with tomato juice dripping all down his face and all over his clothes. In between mouthfuls he said, "Mommy me is not playing ball. Me is eating tomatoes!" Then, he wanted to know what I was doing and if he could help make "sketty sauce" too.

Sure is hard to stay mad even hours later when I'm still stepping on tiny tomato seeds as I walk through the kitchen. Now, it's getting late and those two balls of energy are sleeping soundly. The stove is on low and there are two large pots gently simmering that I stop what I'm doing to stir occasionally.

Soon, I'll call it a day...soon as the spaghetti sauce is done.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Rotten Devil Tomato, Baby Stringbeans, & Teeny Tommy Toes

Well, as all good things must come to an end so does the life of the "Devil Tomato." However, I do think she was looking most particularly devilish there near the end!



Yeah. I "saved" her until the fruit flies got to be a bit much.



There were, unfortunately, no other interesting tomato demons lurking about the garden.

However, my son, who is almost three, still enjoys toting his "tomato bucket" around in anticipation of trying to find a few end of summer ripe ones. With a rather glum look on his face yesterday he refused to pick any tomatoes. I asked him what was wrong. As he stomped off he shouted back to me, "None of these tomatoes have noses and faces!"

While there haven't been any other tomato devils, there have been a couple other interesting little babies.

This little stringbean baby, is actually two stringbeans which merged on the vine into one lovely and tiny little "fetus." This reminded me of either a Mother Nature or garden variety version of Camille Allen's Marzipan Babies. In case you're not familiar with Camille Allen, her miniature baby dolls are definitely not really made out of marzipan. They're delicately hand-crafted clay sculptures which she creates in limited editions. They are occasionally listed for sale on eBay.

While my doll collection is carefully stored until my small children realize that a Simon Halbig is not translation for, "See mommy, how big!" as something they reach out to touch accidentally breaks, I am in complete awe of the Marzipan Babies. I was equally in awe of this little stringbean baby as well...this is my doll collecting...on a "shoestring budget!"

Though I still think a great idea for a real Marzipan Baby collection would be vegetables, or "Fresh from the Farm." Instead of pink, blue, or white crochet diapers and hats, how 'bout green ones with miniature stems? Twins or triplets in a pea pod? An orange hat and diaper for a new little pumpkin? Yellow for sweet silver queen corn?

Ok. I'll stop. But not until I've shown you one more baby from the vegetable garden.

I call this one Teeny Tommy Toes...

What's so neat about "Teeny Tommy Toes" is that he's still so little that his skin is translucent and you can see his spinal cord!

If you never look at produce the same way again, I will definitely be elated!















Thursday, July 31, 2008

Jesus in a Cheeto? The Devil in a Tomato?

The web is buzzing about Kelly Ramey and her discovery of Jesus in a snack-sized bag of Cheetos. Quickly deeming the edible orange oddity “Cheesus,” Ramey’s family is enjoying the unique Cheeto which bears a resemblance to the shape of Jesus on the cross.

Like Kelly Ramey, I too recently found my own spiritual coincidence while making homemade spaghetti sauce. After picking buckets of tomatoes with two small rambunctious boys I was exhausted. The children were more than a little ornery and my day, to say the least, was difficult. The task of pureeing tomatoes and preparing dinner was inciting additional anger and frustration...

Until I discovered my very own, extremely delightful, angry "Devil Woman."


There was an old devil woman, who hated tomatoes too, but she had so many children, she didn't know what to do!

If you're interested in a few more funny looking tomatoes, check these out:

A Chinese man bought a Mickey Mouse tomato at his local market.

The Human Face tomato

More funny shaped tomatoes.

Scroll down the page to see the "Attack of the Salmonella Tomato" - obviously a doctored photo but it's funny.

Ok, so this one is an orange that looks like a cat but since tomatoes are fruit? veggies? I deemed that it was worth including!

I predict the world will continue to find the unusual in common every day items...

There's the potato chip lady, Myrtle Young, who visited Johnny Carson in 1987 to show us her potato collection...

Kelly Ramey now has the Jesus "Cheesus" Cheeto...

What do you think will be next?

Well, if you find something strange in your food, do share and let me know...in the meantime I'm hoarding away bags of Cheetos and I'm not sharing. No, not seriously, but I will make another trip out to my in-laws' garden just to be sure there aren't any other demons lurking around. I'll be sure to let you know what I find!


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Rodney Southern Wins AC's $5000 Call for Content

Rodney Southern of Greensboro, North Carolina, wins Associated Content's $5000 Call for Content!

Read Rodney's $5000 winning article:
Survival Skills for the American Upper Middle Class - Welcome to the Poor Club

More info about Rodney and his winning article:

Rodney Southern Wins Ultimate Call For Content

Interview with Rodney Southern, Ultimate C4C Winner

If Rodney Southern Can't Make You Read, Then You Can't Read

Read more articles by Rodney Southern by clicking here.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Ask Bubba

Southside Virginia has a new e-zine. If you have a pressing question on your mind or just anything you need some helpful advice about, well here's your chance. Ask Bubba.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Tic Tac Toe-tally Funny

If you've seen JUNO and thought putting hundreds of little boxes of orange tic tacs in a mailbox was a funny way to get someone's attention, than you're sure to be simply delighted with this Humor article by Associated Content Producer EMohrman:

Tic Tac Crack

You'll never look at orange tic tacs the same!


Friday, May 23, 2008

Associated Content $5000 Contest - June 3, 2008

Calling all writers...

Associated Content announces the details for its biggest call for content contest yet!

One day - June 3, 2008.
One article.

For details, click the link below:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/contest_ucfc.shtml

Friday, May 9, 2008

Ship Yourself to the Moon

Remember when you were little...how many times did your mom threaten to ship you to the moon?

Admittedly, if I had been keeping track, I firmly believe that I would have simply stayed in a perpetual orbit! My mom's always been wonderful, and I know that I certainly gave her plenty of reasons to want to ship me to the moon. In fact, the whole prospect of being shipped to the moon has this endearing sort of nostalgia attached to it now whenever someone mentions going to the moon. So, when I heard about one of NASA's current collaborative projects I just had to share!

Through June 27, 2008 everyone is cordially invited to ship your "Name" to the moon.
Names are being collected and will be placed on a microchip which will travel to the moon aboard the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO) spacecraft to mark NASA's historic trip back to the moon.

For additional information, visit the NASA press release available at the link below:
http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/LRO/news/nametomoon.html

To add your name to the list, simply click on the link below:
http://http://lro.jhuapl.edu/NameToMoon/index.php

I'm so excited! I'm finally "officially" being shipped to the moon! I can't wait to tell my mom!
However...I think I'll wait just a few more days. I'm planning to ship her, along with the rest of our entire family, all to the moon! What a cool idea for a Mother's Day gift!! After all these years of empty threats, I can finally actually do something to get us all there! How neat is that?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

1

1.
it all starts with just 1.
such a lonely little 1.

1 stroke of genius.
1 single thought.
1 bit of luck.

1 moment in time.
1 chance to make a difference.
1 easy yes or 1 difficult no.

1 person.
1 place.
1 thing.

if it only takes 1,
why just 1?
why not more than 1?

which 1 am I?
which 1 are you?
are you the 1?

it all starts with 1.
it all ends with 1.
1.

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The bouquet residence

The bouquet residence
delivery from the other side of the fence
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